Tag Archive: God’s love

I Declare


I’ve had on my heart the last few days to take a stand, to declare what I believe, to proclaim what is important and right and good, for me, and something to leave for posterity, if you will, that will show that I stood for something and wasn’t just a hunk of human flesh taking up space on this spinning blue ball of rock.


Perhaps no one cares but me, but that’s ok.  If no one reads this but God alone, it is sufficient to have done it at all for His eyes, if for no one else’s.  But, if someone does happen to read this someday, perhaps it will spur them on to make a declaration of their own, to draw a line in the sand so to speak, for that is really what this is about I suppose.


I see so much conservative and liberal lines in the sand being drawn via social networking and in the news, and it reminds me of the Scriptures that teach us that this divisiveness will happen in the end times.  Parents against children, children against parents, siblings against siblings.  I always wondered how this would come to pass as it didn’t seem possible on a grand scale all those many years ago when I thought about it.  But now, that prophetic word becomes much clearer.  God is separating the wheat from the chaff, the good from the bad, the just from the unjust, and He’s making it crystal clear that we have a choice and the time has come to choose whom we will serve.


Drawing a line in the SandThere is so much more to it than choosing a political party, or philosophy, or clinging to a particular belief system you’ve known all your life.  It’s really more about choosing a destiny for yourself, and potentially all of those lives with whom yours has been entwined.  For you are not alone on this planet.  Your choices, your lifestyle, your belief systems affect everyone around you, everyone you care about and even those you do not.  The thoughts you think, the words you speak, the actions you take all play a part in defining who you are, at least to the outside world.  If you feel you are someone else, perhaps a change needs to take place in your thoughts, words and actions?


Long years ago I made a decision to follow Jesus, to ask Him into my heart to change me from the inside out, to be my Lord and Savior for all eternity.  I can truthfully say it was the best decision of my life, although walking out that decision over the last 45 years or more has not always been a piece of cake.  But, as He has worked on me, changed my heart, reigned in my desire to rebel and walk contrary to His Word at times, it still is my contention that serving the Lord is the ONLY way to know fulfillment, peace,  and satisfaction in life.  Therefore, I declare:


That I am, first and foremost, a child of the Most High God and Heavenly Father, and that Jesus is my Savior and Lord forever and ever.   He is above all gods, both religious and material and deserves my utmost attention and love.  He is worthy of my praise, confidence, and trust.


That I choose to follow His Word, to obey it as He gives me strength, grace, understanding and knowledge, and with His help and that of the Holy Spirit, I choose to walk in His abundance and life.


That I know I am one of billions of God’s human creations and that He loves each of us individually with an everlasting love.  I am no better than they, nor are they better than me.  I can love them, because He first loved me.   There is no room in God’s heart for hatred or racism or anything of the sort because God loves us each and every one equally.


That I recognize that with so many differing opinions—religious, political and otherwise–, insights, ideas, and philosophies in the world there are bound to be disagreements, but because I carry Jesus in my heart, there is no room for dissension, rivalries, strife, anger, malice and the like.  I choose to be a purveyor of peace whenever the opportunity arises.  I also recognize that I don’t know everything and am not right about everything and should not judge anyone.  That right belongs to God and God alone.


That because I believe God’s Word is true and right for all human life and experience, I will not shirk my responsibility to share His Truth as He gives me understanding and directs me to, but will endeavor to lean on Him for the words and right attitude in which to do so.  Just because I speak Truth, the hearer can only receive it when I speak it in love with a right attitude.  I choose to share Jesus’ love and compassion as often as I can as He works in my heart and gives me opportunities.


That I will stand for life, human life.  Although God has created much life in our world which should be enjoyed, cared for and protected, the most important, above all else, is the life of the humans he has formed and knit together in the womb.  We are made in His image and it is not my place to determine who lives and who dies.  That too is up to God alone.  Having been a recipient of life through adoption, I feel I have a contribution to make, a stand to take in this arena of our society.


Although I believe and try to walk in a whole lot more than has been stated here, I will stop at this point, because I know God knows the rest and is working on all of it to bring out at a later time perhaps.  But, I do encourage all of you, or one of you, or however many might read my little treatise, to make a stand.   Determine what you believe, what you really do stand for.  It’s important.  And it is indeed time to make a choice.


God, Where ARE You?

Do you ever wonder what the heck God is doing?  Why is all the bad stuff in my life happening and what about all the bad stuff going on in the world and in our nation specifically?  What used to be good is now bad, and what used to be bad is now good.  How did that happen and where is God in all of this?  Isn’t He supposed to be able to fix all of this mess and make it better?  Then, where is He?  Is He on vacation, on another planet, or galaxy, or a neighboring universe maybe?

We’ve got runaway debt in our nation, people suffering physical and emotional turmoil over job losses, health issues, money problems.  Relationships are out of whack and families are being torn apart because of hate, strife, jealousy and worse.

Once flourishing cities are in ruins due to carelessness; children are dying by the millions because they are inconvenient.  Our world is topsy-turvy and things look totally impossible to be fixed, by anyone or anything.

Where is God?  Where is our Savior?  Holy Spirit, Comforter and powerful Friend, where are you?

Have you ever thought that He might be asking the same thing of you and me?

Where did YOU go?  You once vowed allegiance to Me, yet you’re not reading My Word, My Love Letter to you, My Instruction book, The Bible.  You said you’d talk to me everyday, sing to Me, worship Me, love Me, daily….where are you?  I haven’t seen you for a very long time and I miss you.  You said you’d share Me with everyone you met, feed My sheep, but they are blinded, starving and have no food because you never showed up to give it to them, to share My love with them.  Where are you?

The children I gave to you to watch over and guide are in trouble or gone because you didn’t raise them the way I showed you in My Book.  You decided that they were your possessions and you could push them around, punch them, embarrass, shame and mistreat them instead of honoring them as My gifts to you.  And, to your shame, you have murdered millions of them because they were an inconvenient reminder of things you had done that you shouldn’t.

My Word tells you about how to eat and take care of your bodies, but you continually mistreat your temple with food that isn’t healthy for you and will leave your body weak and unable to fight against sickness and disease.  That is not My Will for you.  I would that you be healthy, whole in all areas of your life, but you cannot do what you want and have My Will too.

You ask where I’ve been….I’ve been right here, where I’ve always been.  I love you, I miss you terribly and am reaching out to you to come back to Me, where you belong.  I’ll make you Safe. Secure, once again. But, that comes with some sacrifice.

Are you willing to lay down YOUR will for Mine?  How badly do you want to see Me work on your behalf?  If you want to see Me do the impossible, then you must lay down your works that conflict with what I’m trying to do in your world and in the lives of you and your loved ones.

Where AM I?  Not far at all….only a breath, a prayer away.

Happy Birthday!!

At the risk of appearing to talk about myself a little too much, may I just make mention of the fact that tomorrow is my 62nd birthday!  Now, that isn’t necessarily a big deal, given that everyone has a birthday every year and, unless the Lord takes them Home, everyone will have a 62nd birthday eventually.

4 years old

4 years old

However, what makes birthdays, every birthday, a bit more special for me is knowing that for some reason, still unknown to me, I was rescued by the Lord.  Instead of being aborted, I was given the opportunity to live.  You see, I was adopted!

Fortunately, I was born during a time when Roe v. Wade was unheard of as well as was the idea of having a “choice” to murder an unborn child.  (Sorry if I offended you, but it is what it is.)  I was given up for adoption by a mother that I grew up believing loved me so very much that she was willing to allow someone else to raise and care for me because she felt ill-equipped to handle the job herself.  Looking back on it, my adoptive mom could have told me that story as a young child because, knowing her heart, she couldn’t have conceived of any other scenario, not being able to have children herself.  Or, perhaps they were similarly advised at the children’s home where she and Dad picked me up on that cool, late summer day in September, 1950.  Either way, I have always held a fondness for my birth mother because I’m sure it was the hardest decision she ever made in her life.  I honor her for the courage she had to choose life instead of other options she might have taken instead.


The way I remember the story of our first meeting, Mom and Dad were advised by snail mail I was available and they realized they only had 24 hours or so to come get me before the deadline date, after waiting at least two years to receive the good news.  They had absolutely nothing to start out with so they ran around like crazy people preparing my room, buying baby bottles and formula, diapers (the cloth kind since disposables had not yet been invented—yuck!), girl clothes, crib, and all the baby necessities.  Somewhere during this frantic buying spree, Dad arrived back at his parked car to find an officer writing up a parking ticket!  When apprised of the situation, the officer smiled and tore up the ticket, telling Dad, “Aww, go pick up your daughter and good luck to you!”   Soon, they were on their way, driving a few hundred miles from where they lived in Montana to Helena, the state capitol, to meet their new family addition!

The Three of Us

The Three of Us



After all the introductions, paper work, instructions, and so forth were completed, they jumped into the  car again (with me of course) for a few hour trip to visit the home of very dear friends to show off their new baby girl where they were to learn, quickly I might add, that they had a soggy “wet” baby in the back seat!  Neither of them had a clue how to change diapers, nor had they even given thought to the necessity of doing so as I had not made a peep to complain!  (I was such good baby!!)  Fortunately for me, their friends had several children and they were able to give them some good, solid, practical advice as to what to do next.

That was my introduction to my new family!  There are probably many more parts to that story that have long since been forgotten, but all in all I had a very blessed life with my adoptive parents.  God certainly knew what He was doing!  The only thing I remember wishing was that I could have had an older brother, but I am content that things worked out as they should have.

Years and years later though, simply walking home from work one day, God tugged at my heart.  An overwhelming realization came suddenly to my heart that I don’t ever remember consciously thinking about before that time.  Tears began to stream down my face as I began to understand the scope of the fact that I have been twice blessed!  Struggling over many years to fully understand and “feel” God’s love for me, these revelations came flooding in.  I not only was allowed to be born physically, but 18 years and 3 months to the day later was “born again” spiritually when I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior.  Then came another revelation!  I was adopted once physically, but God also adopted me into His family when I got saved.  Twice born, twice adopted.  Chosen by my parents, chosen by God.  Wow!!!!!

Please understand that all these references to me are not meant to be self promoting in any way.  I am incredibly humbled by all that has happened to me, but I share it all as my story, a testimony to the greatness of God in my life and to let you know that He is not a respecter of persons.  He loves and cares for you in the same way.  We may not share the exact same set of circumstances, but He is no less a loving Father to any one of you.  In the grand scheme of things, I am one of many, but we are all His children if we believe in, rely on and trust in Him and receive Jesus into our hearts as Lord of our lives.

My hope and prayer is that you can see yet another reason why we can have confidence in God as you have read my little story.  And, may I add, if you someday find yourself, or know of someone, in the same position as my birth mother, please, please consider adoption as a better course of action to take.  You never know whose life you may be sparing or the adoptive parents you may be blessing!  I can assure you that God’s heart will be blessed by your courage and sacrifice.


I Love You Mom!

Esther Z, my little momAs her time on this Earth draws ever closer to an end, and her eternal life with Jesus and all that have gone before her comes ever closer into view, I would like to take a moment to share my little Mommy with all of you.

She has been very brave in the last few years to endure sickness and disease, Alzheimer’s, which has left her memory rather frayed and confusing to those of us who still have some semblance of reality left, and the burden of being alone without the love of her life for so many, many years.  She is now closer than ever to being with him and all her family and friends who have gone on before, even as we speak.

However, one of the bravest things she has tackled over the years, in my view, was to take on the responsibility of raising a child that belonged to another woman, one who could not or would not take on that task.   She taught her to love God above all else, even before she had made a personal confession of faith herself.  She taught her manners, sensitivity to others, sharing, giving, and putting the other person first.  Yes, that child is me, adopted at the ripe old age of three and one half months from a Children’s Home in Helena, Montana almost 62 years ago!

My mom was always selfless, charming, loving, caring, and positive almost to a fault.  And what made her even cuter was her naiveté.  Very much like Betty White on the Golden Girls without the “sexual stuff”, she could always make me smile because she looked at life with such a Pollyana type vision.  Anyone who knows her, loved her almost from the very beginning of their relationship.  She has a way of making you feel valued and welcome the instant you walk into the room.

I never knew a time when she didn’t encourage and uplift and bring hope to a dark place.  One of those places for me was a term paper I had to write in the 8th grade on the eye.  As a master procrastinator, I had put off thinking about this paper till almost the last minute….again!  But Mom was there to pull out the encyclopedias (no internet back then!!), and start helping me put together what turned out to be a pretty dog gone good report, albeit a little plagiarized by the end of it.  She even helped me get pictures of the eye to color, so as to illustrate the various parts, and they jazzed up my report quite a bit.  Mom and I got a pretty decent grade thankfully, but I tried a little harder after that not to put myself into that kind of a time crunch again.

Another time was when I froze after being chosen to be the lead in a play in 6th grade ahead of my best friend who originally had had the part.  I guess the teacher thought I was better (she didn’t say her lines with much expression and I did) but I managed to develop a bad cold at the last minute and could not be in the play after all..laryngitis!  Mom once again was so caring and made me feel safe and secure and that everything would be ok.  It made me feel terrible that I had somehow hurt my friend’s feelings and it wasn’t even my doing.  Guilt is a terrible thing and I’m so glad I had Mom to help me through it.

As I think of all the times she has been there for me, I am reminded that it was God Himself who picked me out of an unwanted situation and placed me with a Dad and Mom who loved me as much or more than if I had come from their own bodies.  I was chosen, a very fortunate little girl.  But at the same time, I want you all to know that you are just as precious to the Lord and you too are chosen to be His child and to do something wonderful to give Him glory and praise.  As you read this story and some of the others that will come, please consider getting to know this One who has so dramatically changed my life and the lives of millions of others in this world.  He is waiting, He loves you and just like my little Mommy, when you come to your end, either suddenly or many years from now, you will be ready to go Home in peace, with Him.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!  I Love You!

An update:  As of December, 2013 Mom is still with us, although more regressed in her mind.  Her body is healthy but weaker and she sleeps a good deal of the time.  Her speech, when there is any, is a little nonsensical and sometimes humorous, but mostly just sounds and gobbledygook.  She is at peace it seems and that is a blessing.

A Final Update:  As of this morning, June 18, 2014, about 2 a.m., Mom went to sing with the Angels of Heaven, meet her family that have gone on before, and enjoy the embrace of her Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.  Rest in Peace Mom.  97 years is a long, long time to wait.


Hello again!

How about let’s go in a different direction today?  How many of you have ever felt like nobody cares about you or what you think or what you feel or what you say?  Perhaps you feel you have poured out your life’s blood for your family and friends and they not only don’t seem to appreciate what you have done, but make you feel like your efforts don’t even matter.  Have you ever been in that frame of mind?

Please pay attention to me!

Please pay attention to me!

I have.  Not often, and I’ve learned not to let my mind wallow in that mindset for very long, but I have to admit I have stepped momentarily, from time to time, into that very deceptive mud puddle.  And when you find yourself thinking these ugly thoughts, isn’t it easy to try to manipulate your circumstances to force people to pay attention to you?

For example, slamming doors or cabinets is a good attention getter!  Or, another very popular technique is to give “them” (insensitive clods) the silent treatment–that’ll teach ‘em!   Or, maybe you choose to stand in the middle of the room screaming at the top of your lungs while throwing plates and frying pans at them, (or the walls or floor if they aren’t around)!  Of course, these examples are a little extreme, but probably effective for a brief moment to make you feel better until reality sets in and it dawns on you that you now have a floor full of broken plates to clean up and nothing to eat on or cook with!!  (Worse yet, if you hit them–the insensitive clod–and then had to rush them to the hospital with a concussion??!!!!  Wow!  And then, there’s the police thing, ..Bummer!)

However, I believe the real issue here hinges on our expectations.  We expect others to treat us in a certain way, to understand us, to recognize our value and treat us accordingly.  When they don’t, it’s like…”Hey, what’s wrong with you?  Can’t you see how much I do for you, how much you need me in your life, how valuable my wisdom is and how important I am?” As many times as I tried to get others to take a second look at what I had to say, the efforts I made just fell on deaf ears.  People aren’t paying attention, aren’t sensitive to us, and frankly, don’t really care a whole lot.  Such is the lot of being human, living in an imperfect body, in a sinful and corrupt world.  It really stinks..or sucks, if you prefer.

It’s at times like these that you might find it helpful to recognize Jesus as the only One who really loves, cares, and values you.  He actually was sent to Earth to show us Daddy God’s individual and very personal love for you.  And because He was, you can trust Him with your expectations.  And, you can ask Him to show you how to forgive those who hurt and offend.  Then, let Him heal your wounded heart.

Sadly we can’t change others’ perceptions or what they think of us, though God knows I’ve tried any number of times!!!  But we can pray for them and ask God to work in us so that WE will not be that same type of person to someone else.

So, don’t give up or worse yet, give in to bitterness and resentment.  Rise above it and remember to be confident in God.  He’ll take all the hurt and injustice and turn it around for your good.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: “   Philippians 1:6 King James Version

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