Welcome to the next installment of IVEGOTCONFIDENCE!

So, how are things in your neck of the woods?  Although you may not yet be experiencing the life you have always wanted to experience, trust that God is with you, working behind the scenes to bring His perfect will to pass in your life.

Doesn’t that just sound so “yada, yada, yada”???  Whatever!!!!!  Hey, I’m dyin’ here Lord…where are you??  What the heck (or, as some would say, *#$&!@#) is going on?  What are You doing to me?  I don’t see any extra cash, a job, or healing in my body, or relationships getting any better.  In fact, they’re getting worse and if You’re out there somewhere, You’d better do something fast or things are really gonna blow up!

Have you ever felt like that?  I know I sure have but never phrased my responses to God quite like I was feeling them inside.  Guess I was afraid I’d get knocked to the ground with a bolt of lightning, or so I used to think.  But nevertheless, I’ve had many situations that have yielded this sort of inner response in me.

One of my first real “tests” came when my marriage fell apart many years ago.  Without going into all the gory details, suffice it to say it was extremely traumatic for me as a very sheltered young woman with two kids to help raise.  I never in my wildest dreams thought such a thing would ever happen to me.  Me????…Mrs. Goody-two-shoes-who-never-did-anything-wrong-in-her-life?????  Oh, the horror of it all!!  What had I done to deserve such treatment and emotional abuse and trauma.

Then, God said in the inner most part of my heart.  “Will you still trust Me if you go through a divorce?”  Uhhhhhh……well…….., does that mean I’m going to have to go through a divorce and you’ll bring us back together after that?  Or……, is it that you just want to know if I’ll trust You and then You’ll fix everything so there won’t be one after all! 🙂  Or……., that there will be a divorce and I’ll just have to trust You no matter what happens on the other side because You’re not going to bring us back together?  Hmmmm…Yes, Lord,…..I will trust You.

Like the disciples in answer to Your question, “Are you going to leave too?” when you were done teaching a strong word and everyone else left but them, “Where else can I go?”  You are my strength, courage, forgiveness, mercy, love, protection, provision and all the other wonderful things that you provide?  You are the Prince of Peace and I need massive amounts of that right about now.  Yes, Lord, I will trust you, no matter what.

It was during this time of turmoil in my family and my life that God gave me a lesson in confidence.  Yes, although it was very difficult for everyone involved, we did indeed divorce, for good.  It’s been 30 plus years ago now and neither of us have remarried to this day.  We have gone our separate ways, remaining good friends as we were when we started out all those many years ago.  We still get together for holiday meals with family, grandkids’ birthdays and the like, but prefer to remain just friends.  Because of all that God has done in us, we both have a deeply ingrained sense of caring for one another and heartfelt desire for each other’s happiness and fulfillment.  We recognize this attitude had to come from God alone, but also acknowledge that we have grown and matured in different ways, making it undesirable to attempt to rekindle something that would not stand the test of time.Don't give up!

God gave me the following Scripture somewhere during this upheaval and I will always cherish the fact that I can indeed have confidence in Him that He will bring to pass His will in my life if I will just trust Him as a loving Father and not throw away my confidence and give up.

 “Do not therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward.  For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.”  Hebrews 10:35, 36 Amplified Version

I hope this encourages you as it has me, to remember and share how God brought me through a very tough time.  And, as I said in the beginning, it may not feel like anything is happening in your life right now and there may seem to be no hope of things turning around for you, but if you will hold on to your confidence in God, He will surely bring you through triumphantly.  I promise you the changes in your circumstances will not come in a way that you expect, but you will be able to see His wisdom and good work in your life, if you remain confident in Him and in His Word.

Until next time!